User Profile

Hello. This is a journal for the self-indulgent ramblings of pukiban. This journal exists because:

-Pukiban enjoys ranting about things.

-Pukiban feels her RL friends feel obligated to read her journal, so she does not like to post things that will not interest them. She would rather people who read her journal just read it because they decided to subject themselves to it of their own free will.

-When pukiban is writing for her friends she feels the need to make things amusing. Pukiban would like to feel the freedom to be utterly boring occasionally.

-Many of pukiban's friends do not know (or they may know but she is not honest with them about the fact) that she actually likes (...well, you might use that term loosely) Boys' Love.

-They also don't know she likes (again, loosely here ^_^) fanfiction.

-They also might not know how irritatingly pretentious she might get despite these silly interests.

But if YOU don't mind these things, feel free to watch. Much as I'd like to just switch all fannish activity to this journal, then I'd have to check two flists. So I will probably not be doing that, and will probably not be checking the flist here. Though I suppose if you like to be friended, I can always friend you back. ^_^

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NOTE TO FRIENDS WHOM PUKIBAN IS AVOIDING BY MAKING THIS JOURNAL ^_^:

Uh...clearly I'm not being as secretive as I could be with this using my usual username (shortened since it was too long ^_^;) here. I suppose I just...don't want to have the conversation where you try to get out of my why the hell I like these things. Keep in mind, pretty much everything I've ever said to you about how stupid I thought these things are is entirely true. I know, because I've had much experience observing them. ^_^ They just seem attractive to me in theory, so I search the world and internets for ones that don't drive me insane with their horrible writing. Then, I giggle like a twelve year old girl.

Since it would be rather cruel to have you happen to see this and then refuse to tell you anything about this entire area of my interests which I have almost entirely kept from you, here are some explanations of how and why I started reading these things. If you want to know more than that, I suppose you can ask me but if you want a real answer you'd probably have to ask me online rather than in real life, as if you ask in person I'm probably just going to get defensive and avoidant. ^_^ Also, please feel free to laugh at me as I'd feel uncomfortable if you didn't. But...after a certain point, or if done in a certain way, it can get insulting. I'm not really sure what guidelines to give to avoid that, but I guess that's the risk you take if you really want to ask more. ^^

Fanfiction
I started reading when Brother went to Intermountain. I had internet without someone hoovering over my shoulder trying to annoy me into getting off, and I felt like I should take advantage of it. We had been re-getting into anime a little at the time, so I...wanted to look at something related to them, only I didn't fancy going on to discussion boards and posting in caps about how OMGHAWT any of the characters were. So I roamed random fanpages not sure what I was looking for. Originally the fanfiction looked horrifying to me, but, like I do, I sometimes read bits to laugh at them. Eventually I ran into one that wasn't bad, and found that trying to find more that didn't suck horribly was an amusing activity. ...I admit I had a much higher tolerance for crap at the time. ^_^ (I don't read it *a lot* anymore. But there are often times I'd like to but just can't find things I'd like to read.)

And yes, most of them are romance-centered. And yes, I read those ones. Mainly those ones, even. And no, I have no idea why I was suddenly attracted to romance stories (providing they were well written). I know some of you find it silly since it's not the "real" book or series or whatever so you can't see why it's interesting, but the way I saw it the original books or series fanfiction are usually about weren't "real" to begin with, anyway. Someone's just writing it. If they're a interesting writer, what's the big difference?

When I find a series I like, I get really into it. I'm just a geeky fangirl like that. And seeing...sort of alternate universes of stories and characters I like...it's just fun to me. *shrug*

Boys' Love/Yaoi
This is weird, but I honestly cannot remember when I started liking this. ...Sometime during the first year at UI? ...Before then slightly? But you know how much I hate annoying female characters. Anime is FILLED with them, and it's also filled with terrible sappy romances. If there was going to be drama, it was a lot more fun to pay attention to the platonic emotional drama between male characters. ...And I guess it just lead to thinking about the characters romantically as well? And the romance was all in your head so you didn't have to see it get sappy and ridiculous. ...I still avoided things that were actually Boys' Love in the actual series as I figured they'd be just as bad and sappy as het romances, only then I downloaded Gravitation to give Jenny and watched it myself and didn't hate it (If either of the characters had been a girl I'd have probably despised it, but they weren't. ...I feel rather bad about how hard I am on female characters sometimes. ^_^;). So I started reading BL manga and...just like fanfiction, I found most of it to be just as bad as I imagined. But...I liked the idea of good BL enough that I kept looking?

Hmm... I make myself sound too level-headed. ^_^ If I actually *do* find something I like occasionally, I really do get silly about it, I swear.

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